Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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