Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
