so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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