Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
love makes seman taste better
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
