Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
