You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
