i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
