so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
