Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
