okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
