Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I will pee on everything he values.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
