I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
