i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
