She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Who died my cat blue again?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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