Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
