How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
