TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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