Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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