Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize