So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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