Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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