By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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