I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
