What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
