idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
