she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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