You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This baby is an asshole
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
