you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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