Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
