Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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