forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
