If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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