as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Randomize
