what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
