worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
