True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
How does one acquire holy water?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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