shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
