If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
