So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
