I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
