Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he told me I talked like a deaf person
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
