addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
