I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
