my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
