I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think your dad took our porno
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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