Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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