i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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