Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
