I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
