I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
